I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve come to understand and make peace with the fact that my life is not going to flow blissfully and perfectly all the time.

 It’s ok, in fact….it’s a beautiful thing.

The reality is life can be low, or more accurately; I can interpret life as being low. The law of duality will never fail to make its presence known; I can recall multiple occasions when I reached a high in my life, when everything felt real nice, the peak of joy had been attained then…..BOOM.

Some call it balance, the Ancient Buddhist refereed to it as ying and yang and often I hear it referred to as f**kery by my dear friend Annalise.  There are high hills in life that make us feel like we are on top of the world and the opposite are the deep valleys that can swallow us up whole – that we literally have conjure up all the strength within us to fight our way out of.

Beautiful Emma + I...

Beautiful Emma + I...

2016 was my year of fighting, my year of depression it all stemmed from my dear friend and business partner Emma passing away from cancer 2 weeks after being diagnosed. I never knew such brutal pain existed, the sorrow didn’t hold back it attacked and literally B R O K E me and still now, 1 year and 4 months later I’m putting back together the pieces.

The void of Emma, brought everything to standstill. The questions were endless and unanswered. I entered into spiral of deep darkness, not the luscious darkness that birthed the Universe, no in this space nothing grew, nothing mattered, nothing was felt.

Feeling depressed....

Feeling depressed....

2016 was my year of fighting, my year of depression it all stemmed from my dear friend and business partner Emma passing away from cancer 2 weeks after being diagnosed. I never knew such brutal pain existed, the sorrow didn’t hold back it attacked and literally B R O K E me and still now, 1 year and 4 months later I’m putting back together the pieces.

The void of Emma, brought everything to standstill. The questions were endless and unanswered. I entered into spiral of deep darkness, not the luscious darkness that birthed the Universe, no in this space nothing grew, nothing mattered, nothing was felt.

We don’t get taught in entrepreneur school what to do when you don’t want to get out of bed, face anyone and when you don’t want to step foot back into your office because everything reminded your deceased business partner. When you money gets low and the bills start piling but you just can’t be bothered.

Days turned into weeks, I blinked and year had passed.

I was spoken to by my mom, my sister, big cousin Leon. Nothing. Not even gentle breeze on a summers days that used to make me skip and recite affirmations, could make me see the light, to me it was all dull.

It was only me; Selina, that could lift me up and bring me out of the valley and after a while I did. I started with the really simple thing, give myself self love:

Waking up early: Mornings have a certain magicness to them, a newness. Waking up at 6am and just going outside breath in morning air can make the whole day feel better.

Keep everything high vibe: I am mindful of the energy of everything I take in, whether that be food, music, social media, friends, environments. If it weren’t positive or adding me value I eliminated it.

Writing down everything: Releasing is very important, it offers a chance be brutally honest and shift the thoughts that are blocking the mind. A clearer mind brings more peace.

Get to water: When I feel a bit crappy I go and chill by water I don’t have the luxury of a beach, but any open body of water will do…a river, a lake. Water is so peaceful and calming to the soul.

Self Care Rituals: Self care looks different on different days, from long rose petal baths, going to bed early, meditation, watching Matilda. Just allowing myself to be in a space where there is no pressure…just a long exhale.

There’s no real easy way out of the lowness, sometimes you can snap yourself out of it….sometimes it takes time.  I’ve learnt just to be gentle with myself and allow myself to feel what I’m feeling and never give up. My feelings are all valid, they have a purpose, there’s always lesson contained within them all if I take the time to dig deep.

selina brown

I’ll never be able to get rid of life’s dualities however I’m in a space I’m mentally equipped, I have my bag of ‘pick myself up’ tools and I’m stronger and more powerful than ever. Above all, I have a cool ass angel in a different dimension assisting me.

If I didn’t experience what I had, I would never have got what I have now. There’s a positive way to look at everything.

Love + Light,

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